Why the Way You Buy Is Exactly How You Lose Deals.

“How you buy is how you sell. You cannot overcome an objection in someone else that you haven’t completely overcome in yourself.”

Bruno Nwogu

How you buy is how you sell.

You can't overcome an objection in someone else that you haven’t completely overcome in yourself. That single truth is the foundation of both Selling from the Heart and developing a Supportive Buy Cycle.

Your personal buying habits, how quickly you decide, whether you need to think it over, how tightly you cling to budget, or how many options you feel compelled to compare; quietly dictate the behaviors you will tolerate from clients and prospects.

If you still hesitate, research endlessly, or shop for the lowest price when making your own major purchases, you will instinctively accept those same stalls and objections from buyers.

Selling from the Heart begins the moment you examine and upgrade your own Buy Cycle, so it supports ideal sales outcomes which are faster, cleaner decisions rooted in meaningful value rather than fear or comparison.

When your internal buying process no longer sabotages you, objections lose their power.

Conversations shift from managing resistance to transferring genuine conviction and that's when influence becomes effortless.

Time to buckle up as our journey together is about to get extremely self-reflective. Are you ready?

I believe there's a hidden force influencing your sales performance every day.

You may not see it in your CRM, you may not hear it during a pipeline review, and it's probably not listed as the reason a someone didn't buy.

Yet, it can quietly influence how you qualify opportunities, respond to hesitation, handle delays, ask for commitments, discuss price, and determine whether a deal is moving forward.

That force is your Supportive Buy Cycle.

Objective Management Group (OMG) defines Supportive Buy Cycle as the degree to which the way a salesperson makes a major purchase supports ideal sales outcomes. In other words, your own buying behavior can influence how you sell. Allow that one to sink in for a moment.

This matters because salespeople often assume that their prospects buy the way they buy, and that assumption can be expensive.

Recent OMG research analyzing more than 1,500 evaluated salespeople from 2023–2025 found that only 19% demonstrated a supportive buy cycle. In the same research, only 27% demonstrated strong Sales DNA overall and only 16% demonstrated supportive beliefs about selling.

Think about that for a moment... If only 19% of salespeople demonstrate a supportive buy cycle, then this isn't some obscure sales competency affecting a handful of people.

This is a widespread blind spot, and it may be showing up in your sales conversations right now.

What Exactly Is a Supportive Buy Cycle?

Imagine you're making a major purchase for yourself. Perhaps you're buying a car, technology, a piece of equipment, professional services, or something else that requires a significant financial commitment.

What do you do?

• Do you research for weeks?
• Do you compare five different vendors?
• Do you ask friends for recommendations?
• Do you need to feel 100% certain before deciding?
• Do you negotiate aggressively?
• Do you avoid making decisions until the last possible moment?
• Do you want to sleep on it?
• Do you gather enormous amounts of information because you don't want to make the wrong choice?

There's nothing inherently wrong with any of those behaviors. The problem occurs when you unconsciously assume your clients and prospects think and buy the same way.

That's where your personal buy cycle can begin influencing your sales cycle.

OMG describes this as a salesperson's own buying habits shaping their selling effectiveness. Their research specifically points to the tendency of salespeople to project their own buying behavior onto buyers.

A salesperson who takes a long time to make purchasing decisions may hear... We need some time to think about it, as they respond, absolutely, take all the time you need.

To them, this sounds respectful, it sounds customer-centric, it may even feel like authentic selling, but what if the salesperson has never discovered why they need more time?

• What if there is no legitimate reason for the delay?
• What if the buyer is simply uncertain?
• What if another stakeholder has not been engaged?
• What if the prospect hasn't clearly articulated the consequences of doing nothing?
• What if the salesperson is simply making it easier for the prospect to postpone the decision?

Empathy is not the same thing as enabling.

Selling from the Heart is not about being passive.

Authenticity is not about avoiding difficult conversations. Trust is not built by telling people what they want to hear.

Trust is built by helping people see reality clearly and make confident decisions.

The Send Me Something Trap

Let's say, you're having a great conversation with a prospect.

They've shared a problem, you've uncovered potential impact, and they appear interested.

Then comes the sentence... Why don't you send me some information and I'll take a look?

What happens next?

A salesperson with an unsupportive buy cycle may immediately agree... Absolutely, I'll send that over.

They send the information and wait, and wait, and eventually send... Just checking in.

No response, so they send another email... Just wanted to follow up.

Still nothing, and now the salesperson starts blaming the prospect... They've gone dark.

A more productive response might be... Happy to send something over. Before I do, can I ask you something? What specifically would you like to see that would help you decide whether this is worth pursuing?"

Now we're having a conversation and maybe the prospect says they need pricing.

Your response might be... What will you do with that information?

This is the difference between sending information and facilitating a decision.

Your Buy Cycle Shows Up in How You Handle Delay

OMG's research specifically identifies several behaviors associated with an unsupportive buy cycle...

• Allowing buyers to delay decisions indefinitely
• Avoiding urgency
• Accepting vague next steps
• Mirroring buyer indecision

Conversely, salespeople with a more supportive buy cycle are more likely to clarify decision timelines, address the consequences of delay, create mutual action plans, and guide buyers toward decisions.

Zero in on the word guide.

This isn't about manipulating someone into buying or talking about manufacturing fake urgency.

This isn't about applying pressure simply to get a signature, this is about helping a buyer navigate a decision.

The Cost of Being Too Understanding

I believe that one of the most dangerous phrases is... I completely understand.

Sometimes understanding is exactly what the buyer needs, but sometimes I understand is code for... I'm uncomfortable challenging you.

Roll with me for a moment, as a client or prospect says... We're probably going to wait until next quarter.

You might say... That makes sense.

Did you ask... What's changing next quarter that would make this a priority?

Another one, as they say... We need to look at a few other options.

You might say... Of course, totally ok.

Did you ask... What criteria will you use to compare those options?

One more, as they say... Price is higher than we expected.

You might say... I understand (as you start thinking about discounting)

Did you ask... Compared with what?

These questions aren't aggressive, they're 100% useful.

They demonstrate curiosity, clarity, and they help the buyer make a better decision.

Your Mirror Moment

Review your last few opportunities that...

• Stalled
• Disappeared
• Went to no decision
• Were pushed into another quarter

Now, I'd like for you to ask yourself...

1. Did I accept vague next steps?

Did I leave the meeting with... Let's reconnect sometime next month. Or did you establish exactly what would happen next, who would be involved, and when?

2. Did I uncover the consequences of delay?

If nothing changes, what happens?

What does that cost? Who is affected? What becomes harder? What opportunity disappears?

3. Did I confuse interest with commitment?

That sounds interesting isn't a buying commitment.

Neither is... Send me a proposal or We'll discuss it internally.

4. Did I challenge the buyer?

Not confront, pressure, but challenge respectfully?

Did you respectfully ask the questions that needed to be asked?

This is where supportive beliefs, need for approval, emotional control, comfort discussing money, and buy cycle can intersect.

OMG's research shows that these underlying Sales DNA competencies can shape whether salespeople execute the skills they've been taught.

Sales Leaders... Don't Coach Only the Behavior

I believe this is where sales leadership becomes mission critical.

For sales leaders reading this, let's imagine a rep has a stalled $50,000 opportunity.

The pipeline review begins, and the manager asks... What's the next step?

The rep responds with... They're reviewing the proposal.

Manager... When will they decide? and the rep says... They didn't give me a date.

Manager... Call them and find out, and the rep calls.

The buyer says... We're still reviewing.

The rep updates CRM and follows up next Friday.

Next week, the same conversation happens. Eventually, the sales manager labels the opportunity ad slipping.

Now, track with me as I believe that the real issue isn't pipeline management, but perhaps the rep's buy cycle is influencing the deal.

• Maybe the rep personally hates being pressured
• Maybe they take a long time to make decisions
• Maybe they don't want to challenge people
• Maybe they believe good salespeople should be patient
• Maybe they believe asking for a decision is pushy
• Maybe they are overly empathetic toward indecision

That's why simply telling a salesperson... Be more aggressive, doesn't solve the problem.

The heartfelt coaching question is... What is happening inside you when the buyer hesitates?

Folks, that's the question that gets underneath the behavior.

The Data Should Get Your Attention

OMG's research provides an important wake-up call.

In their analysis of more than 1,500 salespeople from 2023–2025... Only 19% demonstrated a supportive buy cycle.

What does this mean? Roughly four out of five evaluated salespeople did not demonstrate strong proficiency in this competency.

OMG's broader Sales DNA data is equally revealing...

• 27% demonstrated strong Sales DNA overall
• 16% demonstrated supportive beliefs about selling
• 19% demonstrated a supportive buy cycle
• 59% were strong in comfort discussing money
• 88% were strong in handling rejection

That last comparison is fascinating.

Handling rejection is a relatively visible sales skill, but Buy Cycle isn't.

This is why the invisible stuff can dramatically influence the visible stuff.

OMG has also reported that training can improve Buy Cycle competency; one analysis found a 48% improvement in Sales Buy Cycle following training, alongside improvements in comfort discussing money and need for approval.

Awareness can lead to change. Coaching can matter, as well as practice can matter.

What Does a Supportive Buy Cycle Look Like?

A salesperson with a supportive buy cycle doesn't automatically sell the way they buy.

They understand their own buying tendencies and consciously separate them from the buyer's.

They are comfortable with...

• Decision clarity... What needs to happen for you to decide?
• Timeline clarity... When does this need to be resolved?
• Stakeholder clarity... Who else needs to be part of this decision?
• Consequence clarity... What happens if you don't address this?
• Financial clarity... What investment have you considered?
• Commitment clarity... If we can accomplish X, are you prepared to move forward?"

None of these questions are about pressure. They're about clarity, and clarity creates better buying experiences.

The Question For Sales Leaders And Managers

In some of your next pipeline meetings, don't just ask... What's the next step?

Ask.. What is the buyer's decision process and how might your own buying behavior be influencing the way you're selling?

That question can change a pipeline review.

It can change a coaching conversation or how a salesperson handles hesitation.

Ultimately, it can change how a buyer experiences your sales team.

Sometimes the biggest obstacle standing between a salesperson and a closed deal isn't the competition.

It isn't price, the economy, or the prospect, but sometimes the obstacle is the salesperson's own unconscious buying behavior showing up in the way they sell.

That's why Supportive Buy Cycle deserves to be brought out into the open.

The first step isn't changing the buyer, it's becoming more aware of your salespeople.

Get to know how you buy and how they sell, then be consciously aware of where the two collide.

My Challenge

Before your next important sales call, ask yourself four questions...

How do I personally buy? - Do I research excessively? Compare everything? Delay? Negotiate? Need consensus? Avoid salespeople?

Where might I be projecting those behaviors onto my buyer?

Where am I being empathetic when I should be curious?

Where am I accommodating indecision instead of helping create clarity?

Trust is not built by simply making buyers comfortable, it's built by consistently showing up with authenticity, meaningful value, a great experience, and disciplined follow-through.

I will leave you all with this... Don't leave the buying process to chance.

Originally published on Larry Levine's LinkedIn.